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সত্যি বলতে আমাদের সমাজে বর্তমানে বিভিন্ন ধরনের প্রেম রয়েছে! এর মধ্যে ‘পরকীয়া’ প্রেমকে সবাই একটু ভিন্ন চোখে দেখে। প্রেমের গল্পের চেয়ে পরকীয়ার গল্প অনেক অনেক বেশি আকর্ষণীয়! আর এই কারণে পরকীয়া সম্পর্কের প্রতি ঝোঁকটাও থাকে বেশি। অনেকেই সম্পর্কের একঘেয়েমি কাটাতে জেনে শুনেই জড়ান পরকীয়ায়। এছাড়াও কিছু শারীরিক ও মানসিক সমস্যার কারণেও অনেকে পরকীয়ায় জড়িয়ে পড়েন।

বর্তমানে বেশীরভাগ পরিবারে দেখা যাচ্ছে- স্বামী-স্ত্রীর মধ্যে সামান্য কোনো একটি বিষয়ে মতের অমিল হলেই তারা বিবাহবিচ্ছেদের সিদ্ধান্ত নিয়ে ফেলছেন অনেক দম্পতি। এখনকার অধিকাংশ স্বামী-স্ত্রী নিজের অবস্থান থেকে এক চুলও ছাড় দিতে চান না। তাই বিয়ের মত একটি চিরস্থায়ী সম্পর্ক নির্দ্বিধায় ভেঙে দিচ্ছেন অনেকেই। আর যারা তা করতে পারছেন না তারা জড়িয়ে পড়ছেন পরকীয়ার মত অবৈধ একটি সম্পর্কে।

আপনার স্বামী কি পরকীয়ায় আসক্ত?

আপনার স্বামী বা স্ত্রী যদি পরকীয়ায় আসক্ত হয়, তাহলে কিছু লক্ষণে তা প্রকাশ পাবে। আসুন জেনে নেই কি কি লক্ষণে আপনি বুঝতে পারবেন আপনার স্বামী পরকীয়ায় আসক্ত কিনা-

যৌনসম্পর্কে উদাসীনতা

হঠাৎ করে যদি দেখেন আপনার স্বামী ক্রমাগত শারীরীক সম্পর্কের ক্ষেত্রে উৎসাহ হারিয়ে ফেলছে বা নেতিবাচক মনোভাব ব্যক্ত করছে তাহলে বুঝতে হবে সম্পর্কে কোনও সমস্যা হচ্ছে। শারীরীক অসুস্থতা, পারিবারিক বা আর্থিক কোনও সমস্যার কারণে মানসিক চাপে এমনটা হতে পারে। তবে যৌনসম্পর্কে উদাসীনতা কিন্তু পরকীয়ায় জড়ালেও হতে পারে। আপনার স্বামী আপনার প্রতি কতটা উদাসীন, তার মুখের অভিব্যক্তিই আপনাকে বলে দেবে। খেয়াল রাখবেন, আপনার সঙ্গী শুধুমাত্র অভ্যাসবশত বা আপনাকে সঙ্গ দিতেই শারীরীক সম্পর্ক করছে কি-না সেটি লক্ষ্য করুন।

অবহেলা করা

আপনি যদি আপনার স্বামীর কাছে অবহেলার শিকার হন, তবে বুঝবেন তিনি অন্য কারো প্রতি আসক্ত। আপনার স্বামী পরকীয়ায় লিপ্ত হলে আপনাকে দেয়া সময়ের পরিমাণ ধীরে ধীরে কমে আসবে। লক্ষ্য করুন সঙ্গী একটা তুচ্ছ প্রশ্নের উত্তরে একগুচ্ছ বাহানা দিয়ে কথা বলতে শুরু করছে কি-না অথবা নানান অজুহাতে একসঙ্গে সময় কাটানোকে এড়িয়ে যাচ্ছেন কি-না।

আদর্শ জীবনসঙ্গী খুঁজতে

পরিবারকে সময় কম দেয়া

আপনার স্বামী যদি মা-বাবা, এবং সন্তানদের পেছনে কম সময় ব্যয় করেন, তাহলে এটিও পরকীয়া প্রেমের একটি লক্ষণ হিসেবে ধরা যায়। আপনার সঙ্গীর প্রতিদিনকার কাজকর্ম খুব ভালোভাবে লক্ষ্য করুন, তিনি বেশী ব্যস্ত কিনা। যদি বুঝতে পারেন আপনার স্বামী খুব বেশী ব্যস্ত নন অথচ তিনি পরিবারকে আগের চেয়ে কম সময় দিচ্ছেন, তাহলে বোঝার চেষ্টা করুন সেই বাড়তি সময়টা তিনি কীভাবে ব্যয় করছেন।

আপনি তাকে মাঝেমধ্যে একসঙ্গে বসে টিভি দেখার কথা বলুন বা কোথাও বেড়াতে যাওয়ার প্ল্যান করুন। তিনি যদি আপনাকে অজুহাত দেখিয়ে ‘না’ বলেন তাহলে জানার চেষ্টা করুন অজুহাতটি সত্যি কিনা। সঙ্গী যদি পরিবার ও বন্ধুবান্ধবের কাছ থেকে নিজেকে গুটিয়ে নিতে শুরু করেন তাহলে ধরে নিতে পারেন তিনি পরকীয়ায় লিপ্ত।

ফোন বা ইন্টারনেটে আসক্তি

আপনার স্বামী যদি পরকীয়া করেন তাহলে তিনি হঠাৎ করেই ফোন বা ইন্টারনেটে ব্যস্ত হয়ে পড়তে চান। আপনার সঙ্গী ফোনের পেছনে কতটা সময় ব্যয় করছেন সেদিকে নজর রাখুন। তিনি যদি বেশীরভাগ সময়ই ফোন নিয়ে ব্যস্ত থাকেন তাহলে তা নিশ্চিতভাবে পরকীয়া। খেয়াল করুন, আপনার স্বামী যদি পরিবার বা বন্ধু-বান্ধবদের সঙ্গে থেকেও মাঝেমধ্যে একলা থাকতে চান, তাহলে বুঝবেন সে আপনার নজর এড়িয়ে কোনো কিছু করতে চাইছে।

কৌতুহণবশত আপনার স্বামীর মোবাইল ফোনের বা কম্পিউটারের পাসওয়ার্ড জানতে চাইতে পারেন। তখন লক্ষ্য করুন, তিনি আপনাকে এসব তথ্য নিজে থেকে দেন কিনা। অথবা আপনি চাইলে আপনার সঙ্গে কী ধরণের আচরণ করেন তাও বোঝার চেষ্টা করুন।

অকারণেই রেগে যাওয়া

আপনার স্বামীর কথায় রাগের সুরটি খেয়াল করুন। বিনা কারণে মেজাজ খারাপ করা কিংবা সবসময় খিটখিট করা পরকীয়ায় আসক্তির অন্যতম লক্ষণ। আগে যে বিষয়গুলোতে আপনার স্বামী রাগ করতেন না সেসব বিষয়ে তিনি যদি রেগে যান কিংবা কথায় কথায় আপনাদের দাম্পত্য জীবনকে অভিশাপ হিসেবে অভিহিত করেন তাহলে তা ভালো লক্ষণ নয়।

আপনার প্রতিদিনের কাজগুলো খুঁটিয়ে জিজ্ঞেস করা

আপনার স্বামী কি আপনার দৈনন্দিন রুটিন সম্পর্কে আচমকাই অতিরিক্ত কৌতুহল দেখাচ্ছে? তিনি কি আপনার ঘরে আসার বা ঘর থেকে বেরিয়ে যাওয়ার সময়ের ব্যাপারে বেশি জিজ্ঞাসাবাদ করছেন? তাহলে জানবেন তিনি আপনার অনুপস্থিতির সুযোগ খুঁজছেন কিছু একটা করার অথবা আপনার নজর এড়িয়ে কিছু একটা করতে চাইছেন।

পরকীয়ায় নিজেকে নিয়ে বেশী ব্যস্ত হয়ে পড়া

পরকীয়ায় মজে থাকলে দেখবেন আপনার স্বামী নিজের সৌন্দর্য সম্পর্কে অতিরিক্ত সচেতন হয়ে উঠেছেন। যদি দেখেন আপনার সঙ্গী আচমকাই নিজের শরীরের গঠন, সাজ-পোশাক, সুগন্ধি ব্যবহারের ক্ষেত্রে একটু বেশিই নজর দিচ্ছে, তাহলে বুঝতে হবে তিনি হয়তো কারও সাথে সম্পর্কে জড়িয়েছেন। এটাও খেয়াল করবেন যে তিনি শুধুমাত্র আপনাকে দেখানোর জন্যই সাজগোজ করছেনি কিনা।

স্ত্রী পরকীয়ায় আসক্ত কিনা বুঝবেন কিভাবে?

কিভাবে বুঝবেন আপনার স্ত্রী পরকীয়ায় জড়িয়েছেন কিনা?

গুরুত্ব না দেয়া

মেয়েরা সাধারণত সাংসারিক ব্যাপারে যে অত্যন্ত যত্নবান হয়ে থাকে । আপনি কখন অফিস থেকে বাড়ি ফিরবেন, কি খাবেন সেগুলো যেমন তারা নজরে রাখেন, তেমনই আপনি বিশেষ দিনগুলোর কথা মনে রাখছেন কি না, কিংবা দিনে কতবার ফোন করছেন বা মেসেজ করছেন—সেগুলোও তারা খেয়াল করেন। যখন তাদের জীবনে অন্য কেউ প্রবেশ করেন, তখন স্বাভাবিকভাবেই এই বিষয়গুলোর প্রতি তাদের মনোযোগ কমে যায়।

অতিরিক্ত সাজ-সজ্জা

প্রথম প্রথম কোনও সম্পর্কে থাকলে মেয়েরা সুন্দর পোশাকে নিজেকে সাজিয়ে তোলা, সাজগোজ করা- এসবের দিকে মনোযোগী হন। সম্পর্কের বয়স বাড়ার সাথে সাথে তাদের সাজগোজের বহর একটু কমে যায়। কিন্তু হঠাৎ যদি দেখেন, বিয়ের অনেক দিন পর আপনার স্ত্রী বা প্রেমিকার সাজগোজ পোশাক-আশাকে আবার হঠাৎ করে চাকচিক্য বেড়ে গিয়েছে, তাহলে এমন সম্ভাবনা রয়েছে যে, তিনি পরকীয়ায় জড়িয়ে পড়েছেন।

ফিউচার নিয়ে অনীহা

যেকোনো মেয়ে নিজের সংসারের ভবিষ্যৎ নিয়ে ‍খুবই সচেতন থাকেন। কিন্ত হঠাৎ যদি দেখেন, আপনার স্ত্রী আপনাদের সম্পর্কের ভবিষ্যৎ নিয়ে তেমন কোনও উচ্চবাচ্য করছেন না আর, কিংবা আপনি কখনো ফিউচার নিয়ে আলোচনা করতে চাইলে তিনি এড়িয়ে যাচ্ছেন, তাহলে মোটামুটি নিশ্চিন্ত থাকতে পারেন যে, তিনি পরকীয়ায় জড়িয়ে পড়েছেন।

পরকীয়ায় গোপনীয়তা

আপনার স্ত্রী কখন কোথায় যাচ্ছেন, কী করছেন, কিংবা কার সঙ্গে দেখা করছেন সেই বিষয়ে আপনাকে স্পষ্ট করে বলতে চাইছেন না? ‘অফিসে মিটিং, তাই বাড়ি ফিরতে লেট হবে’— এই জাতীয় অজুহাত যদি তিনি দিতে শুরু করেন, তাহলে আপনাকে এড়িয়ে তিনি অন্য কোনও পুরুষকে সময় দিচ্ছেন কি না, সেটা যাচাই করে দেখুন।

পরকীয়া সম্পর্কে ইসলাম কি বলে?

ইসলাম একটি নীতি ও আদর্শের ধর্ম। ইসলামে বিয়ের পর পরকীয়া প্রেম ও অবৈধ সম্পর্ক থেকে দূরে থাকতে নারী-পুরুষকে কঠোরভাবে বলা হয়েছে। নারীদের কথার আওয়াজকেও সতরের অন্তর্ভুক্ত করে অপ্রয়োজনে পরপুরুষের সঙ্গে কথা বলতে নিষেধ করা হয়েছে যাতে নারীদের সঙ্গে কথা বলতে গিয়ে কোনো পুরুষ আকর্ষণবোধ না করেন। তবে শুধু নারীদেরই নয়, বরং আল্লাহ্‌ তায়ালা পুরুষদেরকেও তাদের দৃষ্টি সংযত রাখার নির্দেশ দিয়েছেন।

হাদিস শরিফে ব্যভিচারের ভয়ানক শাস্তির কথা বর্ণিত হয়েছে। রাসুলুল্লাহ (সা.) বলেন, ‘হে মুসলমানগণ! তোমরা ব্যভিচার পরিত্যাগ কর। কেননা এর ছয়টি শাস্তি রয়েছে। এর মধ্যে তিনটি দুনিয়াতে ও তিনটি আখেরাতে প্রকাশ পাবে। যে তিনটি শাস্তি দুনিয়াতে হয় তা হচ্ছে, তার চেহারার ঔজ্জ্বল্য বিনষ্ট হয়ে যাবে, তার আয়ুষ্কাল সংকীর্ণ হয়ে যাবে এবং তার দারিদ্রতা চিরস্থায়ী হবে। আর যে তিনটি শাস্তি আখেরাতে প্রকাশ পাবে তা হচ্ছে, সে আল্লাহর অসন্তোষ, কঠিন হিসাব ও জাহান্নামের শাস্তি ভোগ করবে।’ (বায়হাকি, হা নং ৫৬৪)

ব্যভিচারের শাস্তি হিসেবে আল্লাহ বলেন, ‘ব্যভিচারী ও ব্যভিচারিণী উভয়কে এক’শ ঘা করে বেত্রাঘাত কর।’ (সুরা নুরঃ ২)

যৌথ পরিবার হলে সংসারে কখনো দেখা যায় স্ত্রী কখনোও কখনোও দেবরের সাথে জমে ওঠে পরকীয়া। হজরত উকবা ইবনে আমের (রা.) থেকে বর্ণিত, রাসুলুল্লাহ (সা.) বলেন, ‘সাবধান! তোমরা নির্জনে নারীদের কাছেও যেও না।’ এক আনসার সাহাবি বললেন, ইয়া রাসুলাল্লাহ! দেবর সম্পর্কে আপনার নির্দেশ কী? নবীজি (সা.) বললেন, ‘দেবর তো মৃত্যুর সমতুল্য।’ (মুসলিমঃ ২৪৪৫)

রাসুলুল্লাহ (সা.) বলেছেন, চোখের ব্যভিচার হলো (বেগানা নারীকে) দেখা, জিহ্বার ব্যভিচার হলো (তার সঙ্গে) কথা বলা (যৌন উদ্দীপ্ত কথা বলা)। (বুখারি, হাদিসঃ ৬২৪৩)

যবূর কিতাবে বর্ণিত আছে, “ব্যভিচারী নারী-পুরুষদের রশি দ্বারা বেঁধে জাহান্নামের আগুনে ঝুলানো হবে এবং লোহার ডান্ডা দিয়ে তাদের জননেন্দ্রিয়ে আঘাত করা হবে। আঘাতের যন্ত্রণায় যখন চিৎকার করবে, তখন জাহান্নামের ফেরেশতারা বলবে; পৃথিবীতে যখন তোমরা আনন্দ ফুর্তি করতে, হাসতে এবং আল্লাহর কথা স্মরণ করতে না এবং তাঁকে লজ্জা পেতে না, তখন এ চিৎকার কোথায় ছিল”?

ইসলামে পরকীয়ায় জড়িয়ে পড়ার শাস্তি

রাসুলুল্লাহ সাল্লাল্লাহু আলাইহি ওয়া সাল্লাম আরো বলেছেন, “কিয়ামতের দিন আল্লাহ তায়ালা তিন ব্যক্তির সাথে কথা বলবেন না, তাদের দিকে তাকাবেন না, তাদেরকে পবিত্রও করবেন না এবং তাদের জন্য যন্ত্রণাদায়ক কঠোর শাস্তি নির্ধারিত থাকবে। তারা হচ্ছে বৃদ্ধ ব্যভিচারী, মিথ্যাবাদী শাসক এবং অহংকারী গরীব”। (মুসলিম ও নাসায়ী)

রাসুলুল্লাহ সাল্লাল্লাহু আলাইহি ওয়া সাল্লাম বলেছেন; “জিবরাঈল ও মীকাঈল (আলাইহি সালাম) তাঁর কাছে এলেন এবং আমি তাঁদের সাথে পথ চলতে শুরু করলাম। এক পর্যায়ে আমরা বড় একটা চুল্লির কাছে এসে পৌঁছলাম। সে চুল্লির উপরি অংশ সংকীর্ণ ও নিম্নভাগ প্রশস্ত। ভেতরে বিরাট চিৎকারও শোনা যাচ্ছিল। আমরা চুল্লিটার ভেতরে দেখতে পেলাম  নারী ও পুরুষদেরকে। তাদের নিচ থেকে কিছুক্ষণ পর পর এক একটা আগুনের হলকা আসছিল আর তার সাথে সাথে আগুনের তীব্র দহনে তারা প্রচন্ডভাবে চিৎকার করছিল। আমি জিজ্ঞেস করলাম; হে জিবরাঈল! এরা কারা ? তখন তিনি বললেনঃ এরা ব্যভিচারী নারী ও পুরুষ”।

হাদীসে আরো উল্লেখ রয়েছে, যে ব্যক্তি কোন মহিলাকে কুমতলবের ইচ্ছা নিয়ে স্পর্শ করবে, কিয়ামতের দিন সে এমনভাবে আসবে যে তার হাত তার ঘাড়ের সাথে যুক্ত থাকবে। সে যদি এ নারীকে চুমু দিয়ে থাকে, তাহলে তার ঠোঁট দুটিকে আগুনের কাঁচি দিয়ে কেঁটে ফেলা হবে।

বিয়ে সংক্রান্ত যেকোনো তথ্য, সেবা, এবং পরামর্শ পেতে যোগাযোগ করুন তাসলিমা ম্যারেজ মিডিয়ার সাথে।
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