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পারিবারিক জীবনে সন্তান লালন-পালন এ বাবা-মায়ের দায়িত্ব অপরিসীম। মাতা-পিতার কারণেই শিশু ইহজগতের মুখ দেখতে পেরেছে। সন্তান জন্মের পরই মা সর্বপ্রথম তাঁর শিশুটিকে মাতৃদুগ্ধপানে আগলে রাখেন। মমতাময়ী মায়ের কারণেই সন্তানের পৃথিবীর আলো দেখার সৌভাগ্য হয় ও তাঁর উষ্ণক্রোড়ে থেকে বাল্য অবস্থায় অসহায় শিশুটি নিরাপদে বেড়ে ওঠে।

আপনি হতে পারেন একজন পিতা অথবা একজন মাতা। কিন্তু সন্তান লালন-পালন এর ক্ষেত্রে দু’জনকেই রাখতে হবে সমান ভূমিকা। নিজেদের জীবনের পাশাপাশি সন্তানের সুন্দর ভবিষ্যৎ নিশ্চিত করা সব বাবা-মায়েরই দায়িত্ব ও কর্তব্য। একজন পিতা অথবা মাতার প্রকৃত সার্থকতাই হচ্ছে তাদের সন্তানের সুন্দর ভবিষ্যৎ নিশ্চিত করা। এ দায়িত্ব পালনে অনেক বিষয়ের প্রতি খেয়াল রাখতে হয়, অনেক অভ্যাসের পরিবর্তন করতে হয় আর পাড়ি দিতে হয় অনেক চড়াই উৎড়াই।

আজকে কথা বলবো সন্তান লালন-পালন এ পিতা ও মাতার ভূমিকা নিয়ে।

সন্তান লালন-পালন সম্পর্কে ইসলাম কি বলে?

ইসলাম শিশুদের অধিকার ও কল্যাণের বিষয়টির ওপর যতটা জোর দিয়েছে আর কোনো ধর্ম তা দেয়নি। ইসলাম শিশু-কিশোরদের শারীরিক, মানসিক, নৈতিক ও আধ্যাত্মিক বিকাশকে অতিশয় গুরুত্বপূর্ণ বলে বিশ্বাস করে। ইসলাম মনে করে এই প্রজন্মের উন্নত ও যথাযথ বিকাশের ওপরই একটি মর্যাদাশীল জাতির ভবিষ্যৎ নির্ভর করে। একটি শিশুর জন্ম হবে একটি পরিবারে। আর সেই পরিবার তাকে সাদরে গ্রহণ করবে। তাই শুধু নয়, পরিবারটি শিশুটিকে ইসলামী শিক্ষা ও বিধানের আলোকে গড়ে তুলবে এবং অনিশ্চিত ভবিষ্যতের হাত থেকে তাকে রক্ষা করার দায়িত্ব নেবে।

আদর্শ জীবনসঙ্গী খুঁজতে

শিশু-কিশোরদের যথাযথ প্রশিক্ষণ ও পরিচালনার মাধ্যমে গড়ে তোলার ওপর জোর দিতে গিয়ে আমাদের প্রিয়নবী হযরত মুহাম্মদ (সা.) বলেছেন,

‘শিশু কিশোরদের জন্য তার পিতার পক্ষ হতে সবচেয়ে বড় উপহার এটাই যে, তিনি তাদের যথাযথ বড় করে গড়ে তুলবেন।’

রাসূলে কারীম সাল্লাল্লাহু আলাইহি ওয়াসাল্লাম ইরশাদ করেন

’’সন্তানের বয়স সাত বছর হলে তাদের নামাযের আদেশ দাও, দশ বছর বয়সে নামাযের জন্য শাসন কর এবং এ বয়সে তাদের বিছানা পৃথক করে দাও।’ (মুসনাদে আহমদ ২/২১৮, হাদীস ৬৭৫৬; সুনানে আবু দাউদ ১/৭১, হাদীস ৪৯৪)’’

তিনি আরও বলেন,

‘যার সন্তান রয়েছে সে যেন তার সুন্দর নাম রাখে এবং তাকে উত্তম চরিত্র শেখায়। যখন সে বালেগ হবে তখন তার বিয়ে দেয়। বালেগ হওয়ার পরও যদি বিয়ে না দেয় আর সে কোনো গুনাহ করে ফেলে তবে তার এ গুনাহ তার পিতার উপর বর্তাবে।’  (শুআবুল ঈমান, বায়হাকী ৬/৪০১, হাদীস ৮৬৬৬)

নিষ্পাপ শিশুকে ইসলাম যেমন স্নেহ-মমতা দিয়ে গড়ার আদেশ করেছে, তদ্রূপ ভবিষ্যতে সুন্দর নাগরিক ও পরকালীন উপযুক্ত পাথেয় হিসেবে গড়ে তোলার জন্য তাকে শৃঙ্খলা ও আন্তরিক শাসনের মধ্যে আটকে রাখারও নির্দেশ করেছে।

শিশুকে শেখালেই শিখবে

শিশুরা অনুকরণপ্রিয়। তারা দেখে দেখে শেখে, শুনে শুনে শেখে। প্রয়োজন শুধু বড়দের সচেতনতা। শিশু তার বাবার কাছ থেকে শেখে। মায়ের কাছ থেকে শেখে। শিক্ষকের কাছ থেকে শেখে। তার চারপাশের মানুষের কাছ থেকে সে শিখতে থাকে। ফলে সবাইকে শিশুর সামনে সচেতনভাবে চলাফেরা করতে হবে। শিশুকে বলা হয় ‘কাদামাটি’। আপনি যেভাবে তাকে গড়তে চাইবেন, সেভাবে সে গড়ে উঠবে। যা শেখাবেন তা-ই শিখবে।

সন্তান লালন-পালন এ যে বিষয়গুলো শেখাবেন

আপনার সন্তানকে বিনয়, ওঠাবসার সাথীদের সম্মান এবং তাদের সঙ্গে কথাবার্তায় কোমলতার স্বভাবে গড়ে তুলবেন। তাকে শেখাবেন- ত্যাগেই সম্মান; গ্রহণে নয়। মানুষের জিনিস নেয়া নিন্দনীয়। তা এমনকি নিচুতা ও হীনতার পরিচায়ক। যদি গরিব ঘরের সন্তান হয় তবে তাকে শেখাতে হবে পরের জিনিস নেয়া এবং পরের সম্পদে লোভ করা অবমাননা ও লাঞ্ছনাকর। তাকে বিরত রাখবেন বাজে কথা ও অশ্লীল বাক্যোচ্চারণ থেকে। অন্যকে গালমন্দ করা ও অভিশাপ দেয়া থেকে।

দ্বীনী শিক্ষা দিন

শিশু যখন কথা বলতে শুরু করে তখন তাকে সর্বপ্রথম ‘আল্লাহ’ ও ‘মুহাম্মদ’; এরপর ‘লা ইলাহা ইল্লাল্লাহ’ ও ‘মুহাম্মাদুর রাসুলুল্লাহ’ ইত্যাদি শিক্ষা দিন। পাশাপাশি কোরআন শিক্ষা দেওয়া, দ্বীনের অতিপ্রয়োজনীয় বিষয়াদি শিক্ষা দেওয়া, মাঝেমধ্যে তাকে নবী-সাহাবা ও মহামনীষীদের উপদেশমূলক ঘটনা শোনানো উচিত।

শিশুমনে আল্লাহর প্রীতি তৈরি

শিশুর কচি মনে আল্লাহর প্রীতি জাগ্রত করুন। মা-বাবা যদি শিশুকে শাসনের ভয় দেখিয়ে বা অন্যরা খারাপ বলবে এই ভয় দেখিয়ে মন্দ অভ্যাস থেকে নিবৃত্ত করতে চান, তবে এটা হবে সাময়িক। কিন্তু যদি তাকে বুঝিয়ে দেওয়া যায় যে এটা পাপ, এমন করলে আল্লাহ নারাজ হবেন। আল্লাহ সবসময় সবাইকে দেখছেন। কোনো কিছুই তার দৃষ্টির আড়ালে নয়। এবং তার অন্তরেও আল্লাহর ভয় বসে যায়, তাহলে শিশুর সব বদ-অভ্যাস স্থায়ীভাবে ঠিক হয়ে যাবে।

সন্তানকে করে তুলুন আত্মবিশ্বাসী

সন্তানকে দেওয়া বাবা-মায়ের সবেচেয়ে বড় উপহার হলো তাকে আত্নবিশ্বাসী করে গড়ে তোলা। আর সেটাই তার সারাজীবনের জন্য উপকারী।

আপনার সন্তান যেকোন কাজে হারুক বা জিতুক, তার প্রচেষ্টাটাকে সমর্থন করুন। গন্তব্যে পৌঁছাতে পারার চেয়ে সে যে চেষ্টাটা করেছে সেটা বেশি জরুরি। তাহলে শিশু কখনো কোনো কিছু করতে চেষ্টা করে ব্যর্থ হলেও বিব্রত হবে না। কোনো বিষয়ে সমস্যায় পড়লে তাকেই খুঁজে বের করতে দিন। এতে সে নিজে নিজেই সমস্যার সমাধান করা শিখবে।

সন্তানকে নতুন নতুন চ্যালেঞ্জ দিন। হতে পারে সেটা ছোট ছোট কোনো বিষয় নিয়ে কিন্তু পূরণ করতে পারলে খুব বেশি উৎসাহ দিন। দেখবেন সে কতটা আত্মবিশ্বাসী হয়ে উঠেছে একটু একটু করে।

আপনার সন্তানকে অনুৎসাহিত করবেন না

শিশুর যে কোনো কাজের নেতিবাচক সমালোচনা তার জন্য যতটা ক্ষতিকর ততটা অন্য কিছুই নয়। তাই কোনো কাজ ভুল করলে আপনি তাকে ভালো কিছু করার পরামর্শ দিতে পারেন কিন্তু কখনোই তাকে বলবেন না যে সে খারাপ কাজ করছে। যদি আপনার সন্তান ব্যর্থ হতে ভয় পায় তাহলে বুঝতে হবে সে মূলত আপনার রাগ বা হতাশাকে ভয় পাচ্ছে। আপনি সবসময় তাকে নিয়ে দুশ্চিন্তায় আছেন তাকে এমনটা বোঝানোরও কোনো দরকার নেই। সেটা তার আত্মবিশ্বাসে আঘাত হানবে প্রবলভাবে।

আত্মনির্ভর হতে শেখান

শিশুকে কোনো সমস্যা সমাধানে সহায়তা করুন কিন্তু তাকে এত বেশি সহায়তা করবেন না যে সে আপনার উপর নির্ভরশীল হয়ে পড়ে। তাকে নিজেই নিজেকে সাহায্য করতে দিন। দেখবেন সে সমস্যা সমাধানে আরো বেশি পারদর্শী হয়ে উঠছে। তার শেখার প্রচেষ্টা উৎযাপন করুন। কোনো নতুন কিছু করলে আপনি খুশি হলে দেখবেন সে আরো নতুন কিছু করার এবং শেখার উৎসাহ পাবে। সেটাই তো আপনি চান নিশ্চয়ই।

শাসন করুন

সন্তানকে প্রয়োজনবোধে অবশ্যই শাসন করুন। কিন্তু তাকে শাসন করার সময় কখনো অতিরিক্ত শব্দ ব্যবহার করবেন না। এতে করে তার পক্ষে ভর্ৎসনা ও তিরস্কার শোনা এবং মন্দ বিশেষণ হজম করা সহনীয় হয়ে উঠবে। তার অন্তরে কথার প্রভাব হ্রাস পাবে। তার হৃদয়ে কথার প্রভাব যে কোনো মূল্যে বজায় রাখতে হবে। তাকে কেবল মাঝেমধ্যেই ভর্ৎসনা করা যাবে। মা তাকে বাবার ভয় দেখাবেন। মন্দ কাজ থেকে ধমকাবেন।

সন্তানকে পর্যাপ্ত সময় দেওয়া

সুন্দর আচার-ব্যবহার শিক্ষা দেওয়া মা-বাবার প্রধান দায়িত্ব। কিন্তু বর্তমানে অনেক বাবা-মা  নানাভাবে এতটাই ব্যস্ত থাকেন যে, সন্তানকে সময়ই দিতে পারেন না। সন্তান লালন-পালন এর দায়িত্ব বাসার কাজের লোকের ওপর ছেড়ে দেন। ফলে সে সারা দিন যার কাছে থাকছে, তার আচার-আচরণ শিখছে। শিক্ষিত বহুগুণের অধিকারী মা-বাবার অনেক কিছুই সন্তান শিখতে পারছে না। তাই এসব ক্ষেত্রে সচেতনতা জরুরি।

সন্তান লালন-পালন এ যে কাজগুলো একদম-ই করবেন না

১। সন্তান লালন-পালন করতে গিয়ে বাবা মা কিছু কাজ করে থাকেন, যা করা একদমই উচিত নয়। বাবা মায়েরা মনে করেন এটি সন্তানের ভালোর জন্য করছেন, বস্তুত নিজের অজান্তে এই কাজগুলো সন্তানের ক্ষতি করছে।

২। অনেক পিতা মাতা সন্তানকে প্রশংসা করা থেকে বিরত থাকেন। আপনার সন্তানের প্রশংসা করুন, এতে সে ভাল কাজে আগ্রহ পাবে।

৩। বাবা মায়েরা মনে করেন তারা যা ভাবছেন তাই ঠিক। কখনই সন্তানের মনের কথা বোঝার চেষ্টা করেন না। আপনার সন্তানের মন বোঝার চেষ্টা করুন।

৪। সন্তানের কাছ থেকে অতিরিক্ত প্রত্যাশা করা থেকে বিরত থাকুন। সন্তানের ক্ষমতা সম্পর্কে ধারণা রাখুন। অতিরিক্ত প্রত্যাশা তাদেরকে কাজে অমনোযোগী করে তুলে।

৫। অনেক বাবা মায়েরা সমবয়সী অথবা বড় ভাই বোনদের সাথে তুলনা করে থাকেন। সে যদি পারে, তুমি কেন পারবে না। তোমাকে পারতেই হবে। এইরকম কথা বলা থেকে বিরত থাকুন। তুলনা তাদের ভিতর হীনমন্যতা সৃষ্টি করে।

৬। বাবা মায়েরা সন্তানের ছোট খাটো মিথ্যা বলা মেনে নেয়। তারা মনে করেন, এই মিথ্যা বলা তাদের সন্তানকে স্মার্ট করে তুলছে। এমনটা করতে থাকলে একসময় আপনি নিজেই বুঝতে পারবেন না আপনার সন্তান কখন মিথ্যা বলছে।

৭। সন্তানকে নিয়ে প্রতিটা বাবা মা স্বপ্ন দেখেন। তার সন্তান বড় হয়ে ডাক্তার হবে, ইঞ্জিনিয়ার হবে নয়তো বড় কোন বিজ্ঞানী হবে। স্বপ্ন দেখুন, কিন্তু এই স্বপ্নটা সন্তানের উপর চাপিয়ে দিবেন না। সন্তানের ইচ্ছা জানার চেষ্টা করুন। তার স্বপ্নকে গুরুত্ব দিন।

৮। বাবা মা তার সন্তানকে আদর করবেন এটা স্বাভাবিক। কিন্তু অতিরিক্ত আদর, কোন কিছু চাওয়ার সাথে সাথে তা পূরণ সন্তানের ক্ষতি ছাড়া ভাল করবে না। ছোট বয়সে সন্তানের সব ইচ্ছা পূরণ করা হলে ভবিষতে তাকে আয়ত্তে আনা কষ্টকর হয়ে পরে।

৯। শিশু কখনো বড়দের মতো আচরণ করবে না সেটাই স্বাভাবিক। ওর কাছে বড়দের মতো আচরণ প্রত্যাশা করলে দেখবেন ওর সঠিক বিকাশ বাধাগ্রস্থ হচ্ছে। আর তাকে ক্রমাগত বড় হওয়ার তাড়া দিতে থাকলে দেখবেন একসময় তার আত্মবিশ্বাস পুরো শূণ্যের কোঠায় নেমে আসবে। তাকে তার মতো করেই বড় হতে দিন।

সন্তান লালন-পালন এ শেষ কথা

বাবা-মা ও অভিভাবকেরা আন্তরিক ভালোবাসা ও স্নেহের পরশে সন্তানদের সুন্দর জীবন গঠনে অগ্রণী ভূমিকা পালন করে থাকেন। মহান আল্লাহ তা’আলা আমাদের সকলকে নেক সন্তান দান করুন আমাদের সন্তান লালন-পালন এ বাবা-মায়ের অধিকার সচেতন এবং দায়িত্ব ও কর্তব্য পালনে যথাযথ সচেষ্ট হওয়ার তাওফিক দিন।

বিয়ে সংক্রান্ত যেকোনো তথ্য, সেবা, এবং পরামর্শ পেতে যোগাযোগ করুন তাসলিমা ম্যারেজ মিডিয়ার সাথে।
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